Wednesday, February 15, 2006

I've Already Shown You Most of The Good Stuff I Can Fit On My Scanner. This Is What's Left. Enjoy the Inanity.

I haven't really posted up any artwork for awhile, so I thought I'd flip through the old sketchbook and see what I could find. This stuff is about the freshest "art" I got. I make no promises about the quality of this stuff, just that I drew it, and it's not a rant about Cheney. I get tired of thinking about that stuff, too, so I thought I'd give you folks a break from having to read it.

On with the show! The first image is of my brother, Patrick. I drew this with a Sharpie from a photo from one of the photo romans we had to do our first year. In my opinion, this is probably the funniest photo I've ever seen, and certainly the funniest I've ever taken. He must have been about 11 or 12 at the time. (The other actor in this brilliant roman, incidentally, was my sister). This shot is of the pushy trick o' treater demanding more candy than my sister gave him. He's pointing into his bag of candy as though to helpfully show where additional treats might be placed. The photo roman concludes with Shannon slipping a razor blade into a full-size 3 Musketeers and then giving it to him. It's one of the best things I did in film school. I thought my sibs did good work for me.

Later, Patrick proceeded from a punk-kid actor (as shown) into a brooding adolescent actor, starring in high-school plays and a 7-(or so) hour PSA about drunk driving. He was really good in it, actually. I actually believed he'd driven drunk and plowed into a car filled with teenagers. That it happened on a football field didn't affect my suspension of disbelief in the slightest. Man, did he kill a lot of teenagers.

Anyway. This next image is of a model from the JCrew catalog. I just drew the face because that was the hard part, and I would have just wasted a lot of pencil lead drawing out her boring suit thing. For some reason I imagine the JCrew models, after the photo shoots at rustic (but never "dirty") upstate farms, retiring to tastefully-decorated Brooklyn apartments where just the right amount of sunlight shines through clean windows in which they lay across overstuffed armchairs reading books people think they're too pretty to understand. You know, like The Devil Wears Prada. They also come off as kind of cold. This may be one of those things that says more about the interpreter than about the interpreted. Let's move on before I reveal too much.

This final image is yet another testament to my narcissism. A whole page of self-caricatures. I did these in Sharpie also. Before you start thinking I'm hopelessly self-involved ("start?") I should say that I was going through photographs trying to draw something up that I could use as my little avatar picture for this blog. I settled on the thing I posted up a little while back of me in the funny hat, but these were the rejects. The one in the center cracks me up. I made myself look so fiercely Down's.

In other news, my grandmother Jean got married for the 2nd time in her life today to a Georgia Tech grad, former NASA employee, and generally cool old-timer, Ted Taylor. They got married at my aunt's house in Cypress in a small ceremony. Congratulations to them.

At any rate, more blog action tomorrow.

14 comments:

blankfist said...

That picture looked like you and Paul Giamatti had a retarded baby. I'm almost waiting for him to grunt out 'Baby Ruth'.

Anonymous said...

Speck wanted me to say this... geez, I'm to embarassed to even put my name on this, but... okay...
here it is:

"Mark my words please believe my soul lives on
Please don't worry now that I have gone
I've gone beyond to see the truth"

And then he wanted me to say "!!!!!!!!RACIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Speck said...

wtf???

(scratches head in mass confusion)

soemtimes I don't understand you Heath.

blankfist said...

??? DON'T BLAME ME!!!

Anonymous said...

Or did I???

Craig Moorhead said...

I had a great comment, but now I'm too confused to remember.

Oh yeah! Here it is:

Hey, Crane! What are the penguins up to, right? Right?

Nope. Still confused.

Anonymous said...

Yes.. absolutely, draw penguins.. I like that idea a whole blog on penguins.. why are they showing up in commercials, the movies, and my dreams. Is it because they will soon be extinct? Are THEY trying to show how cute they are and then saturate us with them so we won't miss them when they fry in Antarctica under Cheney’s secret plan for world domination using global warming. Africa will be the first continent to go, the mid east will bake away temperatures above 160-180 degrees. Yes penguins, it’s the start of it all.

Anonymous said...

Bloop?

JudgeHolden said...

The randomness of anonymous has set these comments onto a track of weirdness from which I fear they may never recover. Oh well.

harwell said...

You know, I remember that first picture though I do not remember your photo roman. Is it possible you had that photo hanging in your dorm room somewhere at some time? The drawing looks like you traced that photo, according to my admittedly scattershot memory. Nice work. You should color it and submit it to an arts council and claim to be a 15 year old High School student with one leg and a learning disability. You'd probably win a ribbon...

I also like the J.Crew lady, which of course makes me wonder if you've ever drawn Peggy. My mind's not in the gutter on this one, so really - where are the drawings of your wife? She probably doesn't want you staring at her with that railroad killer gaze you get when you have a sharp object in your hand.

But of course, your Sistine Chapel is that various caricature experiments, and I think I speak for everyone when I say this is an experiment that you should continue, Mr. Crane! I'm in turn fascinated and disgusted by what I see in the multiple stages of Crane, and that's the same reaction I have to all great art. It's an experience I like to call "beautiful dehydration." It's where you see something that makes you vomit and poop at the same time (or in extremely close proximity) and then you cry once it's all over, because it was so damn beautiful.

I have to run. Oh god...

Anonymous said...

you are welcome, Speck, I wanted it abroad to like I done run, but seriously no penguins. Not now not ever. You too wanted it abroad to like I done run, but in a weird way it sounds like something is being said, too, where I go running a lot.

Seeking Completion said...

WOW! I am now friggin SLOTH? ouch! that really hurts... i did not authorize the blog to use my picture/drawing. But whatever... and some of your commenters even know i have a learning disability... YOU GOT THAT FROM A DRAWING?!?! yikes! you are a good artist!!!

Seeking Completion said...

oh wait... i think they are talking about the one of you... WHOOPSY!!!

P-

Shannon said...

You know what's funny. Not having any drawings of your sister on your blog. Wah, wah, wah.